


Breaking up

by Victoria832



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: BAMF Felicity Smoak, Break Up, F/F, Gunshot Wounds, Letters, Oliver doesn't notice anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-12 05:44:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20999153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Victoria832/pseuds/Victoria832
Summary: Felicity breaks up with Sara out of the blue and disappears from the face of the earth.  And then she shows back up with Nyssa of all people. Turns out they underestimated the IT genius... A LOT!





	1. Brake up

**Author's Note:**

> Felicity and Sara have been together for 3 months.

“Sara we need to talk “ Felicity says after Oliver and Digg both left the Foundry.  
“Why does this sound like I’m not gonna like it” Sara joked but her face turned serious when she saw the sad look in her girlfriends eyes.  
“Sara, we can’t be together anymore” Felicity says sadly. Saras eyes widen in shock. This was not were she imagined tonight would go.  
There were a few moments of silence where Sara processed what Felicity had just said. Unlike her former boyfriends Felicity actually stayed and looked at her during this process.   
“Why?” she finally choked out.  
“I love you and that hasn’t changed. But I can’t keep doing this. It’s not fair to you”  
“What?” Sara asked confused.  
“This” she waved her hands in front of herself. “It’s not me and you don’t actually know anything about me . To you I’m just the cute bubbly IT girl.”  
“Well you are”  
“That’s just it. This isn’t me. None of my friends would ever associate the word ‘cute’ with me. I haven’t worn a single dress since I was 7. And Babbling? I think my brothers haven’t heard me say more than three sentences in a row in the past 20 years. I can’t do this to you. You should be happy with someone who can be honest with you.”  
Sara stayed quite for a few seconds. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  
“Wait you have brothers?”  
“You see my point”  
“If this isn’t you, than show me the real you” Sara tried.  
“I can’t. You’ve been threw to much these last few years. You don’t need my past threatening you. You need to be safe. All of you need to be safe.”  
“Felicity were is this coming from?”  
“I can’t do this anymore. I’m hurting you and myself. I shouldn’t have gotten involved with you. I shouldn’t have gotten involved with any of this. It’s… „ She paused “complicated.” Felicity drifted off.  
“This doesn’t sound like you. Is someone threatening you?”  
“Like I said you don’t know me. And there is always someone after me. Just like there is always going to be someone after the Arrow. But that has nothing to do with this.”  
“It sounds like you live like us”  
“I wish I did.” Felicity says sadly.   
“What…”  
“Look, I’m sorry Sara.” Felicity says standing up, if she kept talking, Sara would convince her to stay. She needed distance. She needed to be far away from Sara, from all of this. “I sent in my letter of resignation to QC.” Felicity says when she was at the bottom of the stairs.  
“What about the Arrow?” Felicity sighed.  
“I’m sorry. I need to leave. Everything”  
“Wait you’re leaving the city?” Sara asks standing up from the med table.  
“I am sorry”   
“Felicity…”  
“Stay safe. “ Felicity gave her a short peg on the cheek and left, tears already spilling onto her cheeks.

After Felicity left. Sara kept replaying the conversation in her head and finally decided that she at least needed to try and talk to Felicity again. But when she went to Felicity's apartment it was empty. It looked like no one had lived there in months. She tried calling her but the phone was disconnected. When Felicity said she was going to leave Sara didn’t think it would be so soon and so… thorough.  
She sat in what used to be the bedroom and thought about everything. Now that Felicity actually said it, Sara couldn’t help but agree with her. She really didn’t know anything about her. She knew that her father had left her and that she lived in Vegas although she only heard that from Olli. Felicity never talked about her family. Anything personal really. The only thing she knew for sure is that Felicity went to MIT. To be honest she didn’t even know how old the other blond was. She also didn’t know her birthday.   
This made her feel like the worst girlfriend ever. And if she was honest she knew that there was more to the blond then what everyone thought. How did she always have insight on her situations? How was she never scarred of Oliver? Where did she really learn to hack? And how could she always be so calm? She also didn’t have anything too personal in her apartment. No pictures. Sara hadn’t ever seen her pick up one of the books in her shelve. And when they were alone at home Felicity was way more laid back. And she dressed differently too. Felicity also must have worked out sometime.   
She was a mystery.   
Suddenly the doorbell rang. Carefully Sara looked threw the peephole to find a delivery boy.  
“You Sara?” he asked bored when she opened the door.  
“Uhm, yes”  
“Great,here” He handed her the Pizza and turned to leave.   
“Wait what about the money?” she called after him.  
“It’s already payed for” the boy threw over his shoulder.  
Sara went back inside to find that there was a plate and a beer on the kitchen counter. And when Sara opened the Pizza box she found a note.  
-if your just gonna sit there you can at least do it with food. I’m sorry, F-  
Sara couldn’t help the sad smile and the tears that started to flow down her face. Even if she didn’t know everything about Felicity, she still loved her.


	2. Contact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity helps Sara.

Next day

„She left!“  
„Oliver calm down“  
„How can she just leave?“  
„I would like to know how long she has been planning this if she already moved out of the city“ Sara mumbled.  
„Wait a minuet. She moved too?“  
„When did this happened she seamed fine yesterday“  
„She is fine, she just needs… I don’t know I don’t think she’s coming back“  
„What the hell happened when we left?“  
„Basically she broke up with me and left. When I went to talk to her, she was gone, literally there was nothing left in her apartment.“  
„We have to find her!“   
„Okay one, how are we supposed to do that? and two she left for a reason, I’m sure that reason wasn’t so we could run after her“  
„I don’t care, what if someone is threatening her“  
„No one is threatening her“  
„How do you know“  
„I’ve been living with the woman and she assured me it was not that“  
„Did she tell you why she left?“  
„A little? I don’t know maybe, I should go I have dinner with Laurel“

2 months after the brake up

Felicity was gone and they had no contact with her what so ever. Oliver had tried to track her down but he didn’t find anything. There wasn’t a trace of Felicity Smoak in Starling or on the Internet.  
They were working a particular hard case and not coming up with anything. But when Sara came home she found an envelope on her coffee table. She took out a knife and checked her apartment. It was empty and everything was in it’s place. When she opened the envelope she found the info on the case they were working on. The things they needed to go after the basterd. She flipped threw the file and found a note at the end.  
-thought it might help. If you don’t want my help put the cactus on your kitchen counter tomorrow. I’ll leave you alone. Stay safe ,F-   
Sara shook her head with a smile. This girl would never ceased to amaze her.

9 months later ( Saras Birthday)

When Sara came home from her birthday dinner Sara found a box on her bed. Sara opened the note that was lying on top of it.  
-Not a bomb, just a gift. Stay strong Canary- Sara smiled fondly. In the past months Felicity had sent her multiple notes when she had had a rough week. Or they couldn’t crack a case. The boys didn’t know. This was just between her and Felicity. Sara was glad she had some sort of connection to the blond. Even if it was just proof of life. It was all she needed. At least for now.


	3. Nightly visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara comes home to someone waiting for her.

Two weeks after Saras Birthday  
When Sara walked threw the door she immediately took out an knife and was about to threw it at the intruder in the apartment.  
“It’s just me” A familiar voice whispered.  
“Felicity? What are you doing here? Are you okay?” Sara asks putting the knife away and stepping closer.  
“I didn’t know where else to go” Felicity whispers. Turning to look at Sara making the other blond gasp at the swollen eye her ex had.  
“Felicity tell me what happened” Sara asks quietly moving Felicity's head so she could examine the eye.  
“That’s nothing. Just some idiot”   
“Is your wrist brocken?” Sara questions after giving Felicity a once over.  
“I don’t know. Probably” the blond answers not even looking at her wrist.   
“Come on let me bandage that and you can tell me what happened” Sara softly pushes the blond to the bedroom.   
“You should hate me” Felicity states after Sara had gotten the things she needed to wrap Felicity's wrist.  
“I don’t hate you.”   
“I don’t deserve your love” Felicity states. Sara looks up into her ex' eyes to see them Broken and scared. She caresses her cheek softly and brushed her thumb over the blondes lips.  
“I love you”  
Felicity looked down. She couldn’t understand it. Why did people care about her?  
“Because your amazing” Sara answers. Felicity's eyes snapped up.  
“How is it that I have bearly said more than 10 words in the last 2 week and as soon as I am around you I can’t control my mouth” Felicity wondered. Sara smiled at her. The words sounding like the Felicity she knew.  
“All done”  
“Thank you.”  
“It’s nothing”  
“No seriously I would have just pushed it aside and forget about it by Sunday” She stood up needing to move. Her eyes scanning over everything. Everything was in perfect order.   
“Fee. Tell me what happened” Sara softly says staying on the bed to give Felicity some space.  
“My brothers in hell” Felicity started. It sounded so emotionless like she was telling Sara that it was going to rain tomorrow.   
“I’m…” Sara started but stopped at the wave of Felicity's hand.  
“Were getting him out. We just need to figure out how.” She pauses looking out the window.  
“Everyone just kept yelling. It was so loud” felicity whispers her hands snacking around her waist. “So much yelling. It was so quite before” she continued tears filling her eyes.  
“Felicity. I’m here, your safe. No ones gonna hurt you” Sara stepped into her ex's vision.  
“I..” Felicity started but they could hear the lock on the door being picked. Felicity immediately pushed Sara behind her and pulled a knife out of her sleeve.  
The door opened and Felicity released the knife only for it to be caught by Nyssa.  
“For goods sakes, N I could have killed you if I had both my hands” Felicity scolded her friend.  
“I’m sorry, should have knocked” Nyssa says handing the knife back to it’s owner. “When we noticed you missing. We thought you went to exchange your life against Sammy's”  
“I might have a death wish but I’m not that desperate” Felicity says playfully making Nyssa chuckle.  
“You were yelling” Felicity states.   
“I know. We’re sorry. We know better than that” Nyssa says softly. “ You let her bandage your wrist?”  
“Like Sara would have taken no for an answer”   
“You joined the league?” Sara asks so not expecting that twist.  
“No!”  
“She’s to good for the league. My father wouldn’t let her join even if she wanted to”  
“So your just friends?”  
“Like I said. I haven’t been honest with you” Felicity sighed.  
“Than be honest with me now”  
“We met when we were kids” Nyssa said.  
“Kids? You know that actually explains allot”  
“You okay?” Nyssa asks her ex.  
“Me? Felicity has a swollen eye and a broken wrist and you seem to have a gunshot wound” Sara said pointing to the blood on Nyssas shirt.  
“Crap, the stitches must have opened” Nyssa says lifting her shirt to reveal the wound.  
“Sit down” Felicity demands retrieving medical supplies from Saras bathroom.  
“Do I even want to know how you know where that stuff is?”   
“Probably not. Hold still” She told Nyssa.  
“What did you guys get yourself into that this is what you look like”  
“Oh you know. The usual. Criminal Jerks” Sara nodded. They weren’t going to spill.  
“So….”  
“I’m sorry I came here. Just needed normal even if it was just for 5 minuets”  
“Normal? You and me have very different views of the word normal”  
“We’ve been working non-stop these past few weeks. It’s kind of nice to have a conversation that doesn’t involve the words Crowly, Ruby or apocalypse” Nyssa states. She shakes her head when she sees Sara was about to ask who these people were.  
“Well, glad I could help” Felicity smiled at her as she finishes stitching Nyssa's wound. When she stood up Nyssa could see a short flicker of pain in the blondes eyes.  
„Fee?“She asks, clear from her tone of what she was asking.  
„It’s nothing“ Felicity pressed putting the supplies away.  
„Felicity“  
„I said nothing. We need to get back. Figure out a way to help Sammy“ Felicity says already distancing herself from her two friends.  
„We are not going anywhere“ Nysa says firmly.   
„Well I can’t just leave Sammy. I need to help him“   
Sara, who watching the exchange saw something in Felicity that she never wanted the blond to feel. She was damaged, just like herself. Although it seamed to go deeper. Sara could endure pain but she couldn’t just `forget´a broken wrist. And she understood what Felicity was doing. When she came here she just needed someone to care of her and now she feels like she had had her personal time and she needed to get back to work for who knows how long. She knew what Nyssa was doing she had done the same thing to Nyssa when she was behaving like this. And from the way Nyssa was talking to Felicity this wasn’t new.   
„Felicity! We are staying for the night“  
„I can’t do nothing!“  
„You can and you will. Now tell me what hurts.“  
„How about my heart“ Felicity replies angry.  
„The hard way then. Sara hold her arms behind her back“  
„What?“ Nyssa gave her a look. „Why do I have to be the one to hold her arms?“ Sara pouted.   
„Cause she won’t hurt you“  
„I’m not doing this“ Felicity hissed  
„Good that you do not have a choice then“ Nyssa replied sweetly while Sara grabbed the other blonds wrists. Felicity immediately started to fight against it and Sara had to pull all her strength together to hold the IT genius still.  
„Stop it, let me go!“  
„You gonna tell me what hurts?“ Felicity stayed quite „I see“ Nyssa opens her Jacket and slipped it down her shoulders. „Felicity Megan Smoak!“ Nyssa warned strictly. Felicity stared at her friend for a couple of friends before hanging her head and letting her scars become visible. Sara gasps as her ex suddenly gets scars. Nyssa lifts up Felicity's shirt and curses making Sara look over her ex’s shoulder.  
„It doesn’t look deep“ Sara says a little confused.  
„It’s not deep but you see this one?“ Nyssa asks pointing to a particular nasty scar the new wound cross over. Sara nods. „Bad memories“ Sara nodded, she understood. „Really bad“ Nyssa whispers. Nyssa got up and got the supplies and started to clean the wound.  
„Please“ Felicity whimpers   
„I’m sorry but I need to stitch it“ Sara could feel Felicity tense and try to get out of her grasp again. When Nyssa started the stitching Sara decided that she needed to distract Felicity. She grabbed her belt and tied it tightly around her wrists. When Nyssa got to the bad part Sara quickly walked around Felicity and pressed her Lips on the blonds. She was tense for a couple of seconds but then Melted into it.  
„All done“ Nyssa announced making the two break apart. Felicity stared at Sara for a couple of seconds before catching Nyssas eye and looking down ashamed. She knew Nyssa still loved Sara and she didn’t want to throw it in her face. But it did actually help. Surprisingly when she considers how she got the scar in the first place.  
Nyssa looked up from her position and saw the guilt in Felicity's eyes. She quickly puts her shirt back down and closes the blonds jacket.  
„Promise you won’t run“ Felicity nodded still not looking up. Nyssa turned her around and released her hands. „Thank you“ Felicity whispers while rubbing her wrist.  
„Fee, look at me“ Nyssa paused waiting for Felicity to meet her eyes. „It’s okay“ Felicity nods.  
„You two should get some sleep“Sara announced. „Take the bed“ She added when they made a move to leave.   
„You need to sleep too“ Nyssa says sternly.   
„ I can sleep on the couch „  
„I’ll sleep on the couch“ Felicity says.  
„How about we just all sleep in the bed. It’s big enough“ Nyssa says and the two blonds nod. Felicity laid down and looked at Sara. Who laid down next to her. When Nyssa laid down on her other side Sara realized that they had her shielded. Felicity was lying on the window side and Nyssa was lying closest to the door. She couldn’t help but smile at that. During the night they all moved closer together and Sara was sure that she’s never felt so safe in her entire life.

When Sara woke up in the morning She was alone. She steps into the kitchen to find breakfast on the table and still hot coffee.  
-needed to leave, thank you-the badass and the assassin- Sara chuckled.   
When Sara went to the foundry she couldn’t help but smile all day.  
„You seam awfully happy“ Digg teased her.  
„I am“  
„Why?“ Oliver asks.  
„Oh you know, just a night filled with panic attacks, scars and Hell“ both the boys stared at her like she was crazy.


	4. Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4 weeks later Felicity stopped by again. And Sara finally asked the question she’s been wanting an answer to ever since Felicity left.

4weeks later

„Why’d you leave?“ Felicity sighed. She knew this question was coming she just didn’t know how to answer it.  
„Like I said I wasn’t honest with you, any of you. And it wasn’t fair to any of you.“  
„But why then?“  
„I guess I just realized that I was not only hurting myself with playing this… innocent IT girl. I couldn’t do that to you.“  
Sara stayed quite for a few moments eyeing her ex. She saw the guilt in her eyes and her closed off Aura hadn’t left since felicity had broken up with her that night  
„Why did you lie in the first place?“ she finally asks.  
„Oliver never got to know me, he always assumed I was this delicate flower. I never wanted you to get involved with my past. It is dangerous and hard to deal with. Oliver already had enough problems. I just played along to what he thought of me.“ Sara thought about it and she had do admit that Felicity was right. She herself had immediately seen her as the innocent an inexperienced one out of the group. This wasn’t usually like her she liked to form her own opinion about people.   
„I’m sorry. I never asked much either“  
„It’s my fault“  
„Once you said it out loud I agreed with you. I never asked you anything about your family or past.“  
„You were scared I would ask you as well and I wouldn’t like you anymore.“ Sara nodded. „That could never happened. I don’t judge people quickly and the league won’t change that“   
There was a silence where each of the women thought about what was just said.  
„What happened, that night when you came over?“  
„We were just working on a case“  
„Must have been some case“  
„Oh you know just saving the world. It was pretty bad and didn’t go so well. But we are handling it.“  
„You sure you’re okay?“   
„I will be. I just want this hole thing to be over, without any of us dying“  
„I don’t want you to die.“  
„I will try my best. But this is pretty complicated imagine Slade with the plan to end the world, and a couple times worse“  
Sara gasped. But didn’t say anything. She wouldn’t know what to say anyway.  
„I should go“ Felicity stood up and but on her jacket.  
„I still love you“ Sara told her. Felicity paused in her movement.   
„I love you too. But I can’t do this right now, I’m sorry“ Felicity finally answered. She left after that having to hold back from giving Sara the kiss she so longed for. But not right now. Maybe in a couple of weeks.

After that night Nyssa and Felicity would drop by very second or third week and they would spend the night together. Just talking about random things and eating dinner. They grew closer together and they learned more about each other on these nights than they had in their hole time knowing each other. About 6 months after that first night Sara came home to Nyssa and Felicity waiting for her on the couch.  
„You look happy“ Sara states smiling at the two.  
„We want to invite you to a party on the weekend“ Nyssa states.  
„Wait what?“Felicity asks. She knew about the party. It was her party after all. But she didn’t know that this was the reason Nyssa had been smirking all day long.  
„We’ll pick you up on Friday and you should pack some cloths“ Nyssa continued like Felicity hadn’t said anything.   
„Why are we celebrating?“  
„Still being alive and it’s Felicity’s birthday“  
„Wait what, when?“   
„Last Tuesday. But we always celebrate on the weekend after“   
„Happy late birthday!“ Sara says hugging the blond. Luckily after all this time Felicity allowed longer hugs again. She hadn’t been so willing in the beginning. Not wanting Sara to get her hopes up of them getting back together soon. And because she couldn’t handle it. She couldn’t handle not being able to touch Sara. To kiss her. But know things were different. She had talked at length about it with Nyssa. And although the assassin still had feelings for Sara she wanted them both to be happy. And if that meant that they were together she could live with that. Felicity on the other hand couldn’t and she already had an idea on how to solve this little problem.   
„Thank you. But the party is not so much a birthday party as just a regular party enjoying our time together“   
„Not a fan of your birthday?“ Sara asks with a smug smile on her lips.  
„No, people just make a huge fuss over it“  
„So I’m guessing that you don’t have a birthday wish“ Felicity smirked and Nyssa was 90% sure she saw a mischievous glint in her eyes.  
„Kiss her“ Felicity tells Sara nodding in Nyssa’s direction. Sara looked at Nyssa and then leaned in to kiss her. Both her and Nyssa already had a pretty good idea of what there friend had in mind and they both hoped they were right.


	5. Oliver and Diggle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Diggle find out Sara has contact with Felicity.

Next day (Foundry)

„Okay whats going on with you“ Oliver asked her the next day.  
„What are you talking about“ Sara questions confused turning towards him.  
„You’ve been way happier in the last few months than I’ve seen you in the past two years.“  
„You know usually that’s a good sign“ Sara said raising her eyebrow slightly.  
„It is. We’re just wondering what has you so happy. Met someone?“ Diggle questions.  
„You could say that. I’ve just had a really good time lately. It’s not a crime you know. Which reminds me I’m not going to be here on the Weekend“  
„Were are you going?“  
„A party. That you are not invited to“ Sara adds when she sees the look on Oliver’s eyes. „ And you will not follow me either“  
„Are we ever gonna meat this mystery women?“  
„I don’t know that kind of depends“  
„On what?“  
„If they ever want to see you again“  
„They?“ Oliver questions. „ Wait I know them?“  
Sara just smirked and turned back to the training dummy. Digg was happy for her. It was good that she met someone she can have fun with and they may let her forget this life for a couple of hours, And besides she’s a grown women and can do whatever she wants. Something that Oliver can’t understand.  
„Would you relax man, she can take care of herself.“  
„I know that. I would just feel more comftortabl if I knew who it was“  
„And she will tell us when she’s ready. You have to remember that everyone associated with us is a potential target and the more people that know the harder it’s going to be to hide it from the press. She probably just wants to make sure they are safe.“  
„Well according to her it’s someone I know already. And have probably pissed off“ Oliver tells him as they watch Sara.  
Suddenly Saras phone rang and both men turned around to find a very familiar name pop up on the screen.  
„Sara, why is Felicity calling you?“ Oliver asks. In seconds Sara was standing next to him answering the phone.  
„Yes?“  
„Hey, uhh could you pick up the cake. Chris and Even were gonna do it but they need to work another hour.“  
„Yeah sure, send me the address“  
„Thank you“  
„So?“ Oliver asks once Sara hangs up.  
„What?“  
„We haven’t had contact with Felicity in over a year and suddenly she calls you?“  
„Uhm..“  
„You’ve had contact with her for months. That’s why you’ve been so happy, isn’t it?“ Oliver asks.  
„Well…not exactly. But essentially yes“  
„Why didn’t you say anything?“  
„She doesn’t want you to have anything to do her. And there was radio silence for a while in the beginning. But she helped us with a few harder cases and after that one very…interesting night we kept in touch“ Sara explained.  
„Wait did you just say she doesn’t want us to have anything to do with her?“ Digg asks. „What is she caught up in?“  
„Nothing…really. Just the normal stuff“  
„the normal stuff? By who’s standard.“  
„Honestly I don’t know. And I think if we were in her shoes we would have died by now. But Felicity knows what she’s doing. And yes I worry but from what I have seen she is more than capable of handling all of this“  
„How bad is it?“ Oliver questions his face now full of worry.  
„Currently it’s not much different from what we do. But it was really bad for a few months. Imagine Slade with the plan to end the world bad. „ Both boys gasp „And then a couple times worse. Honestly I don’t know how any of them survived that hole thing. But they did. You really underestimated her“ Sara says and then turned around to leave.  
„Is she okay?“ Oliver asked her when she was about to open the door.  
„She’s fine. Really good actually.“ Sara smiled at him and then left.  
„ I can’t believe that she’s had contact with Felicity this hole time“  
„It’s actually not that surprising, I was pretty sure Felicity was going to check up on us some time. And Sara said that someone was helping her with the harder cases.“  
„Does anyone tell me anything anymore?“ Oliver asks Diggle rubbing his hands over his face.  
„Felicity had a reason for leaving Oliver, she’s just staying gone“  
„That might be but Sara had assured me multiple times that I was not the reason she left“  
„Did she ever tell you exactly why she left?“  
„No, You?“  
„Nope, I only know that it had nothing to do with any of us“  
„Maybe she left because of the hole Slade with the plan to end the world thing“  
„How does she always get involved in this kinds of things?“  
„I don’t know but it’s amazing how well she cops with the pressure"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! Hope you liked it.


End file.
